An important influence on children is watching how adults are responding. Caring adults can help guide children through this difficult time and make it a valuable part of personal growth and development. When you support children through these difficult life transitions, 他们会毫无疑问地知道他们并不孤单. 这是皇冠体育App能给孩子们最好的礼物.
- It is important to note that children have many questions about death, and these are usually different than the ones that occur to adults. Children’s questions deserve simple, straight forward answers. The first task of a grieving child is to make sense of the factual information about how the loss occurred. 照顾者的直接, concrete explanation of the facts surrounding the death will help the children begin to come to terms with what has happened. 他们可能会多次要求听事实. They may also want to share the story with many others … friends, 老师, strangers … to try to comprehend the unimaginable that has happened.
- Children’s perception of loss and their grief has to be understood according to their developmental levels. Death, or indeed any loss, means different things to children of different ages. Inquire and try to figure out what this loss mean to this child at this particular time in life. What they feel they have lost will be a determinate of what they are missing, and what needs to be.
- 消除孩子可能有的恐惧. Children are often afraid that someone else in the family, or they themselves will die also. They need to have reassurance that these fears are unfounded. 每个孩子都害怕被遗弃, 所以如果父母中有一个死了, the remaining parent can assure the child that he/she expects to live a long time, 会照顾好孩子的一切需要.
- 孩子们需要让成年人了解他们的悲伤. 每个孩子和每个反应都是独一无二的. Rather than assuming that we know what the child is feeling, 皇冠体育App必须让孩子们做皇冠体育App的老师. 就像孩子们与他们信任的人分享他们的悲伤, 他们告诉皇冠体育App他们的感觉和经历. 作为成年人表达尊重, 验收, 温暖和理解, the child will sense that they are being taken seriously and be more open to the stabilizing presence of that individual as they reach out with meaningful support.
- Children express themselves in a variety of ways after a loss. Some of the most widely recognized include: an apparent lack of feelings; acting out behaviour, due to feelings of insecurity and abandonment and often expressed by behaviours which provoke punishment, for children would rather be punished than feel ignored; regressive behaviour; fear; guilt and self-blame; “Big Man” or “Big Woman” syndrome, (often encouraged by those who with good yet unwise intentions tell a 10 year old that he has to be the “man of the family”); disorganization and panic; loss and loneliness; explosive emotions.
- Simple ceremonies such as lighting a candle next to a photograph; placing a letter, picture or special memento in a casket; or releasing a helium balloon with a message attached for the person who died, 是有效的告别仪式吗. Children can be wonderfully creative with these kinds of meaningful, symbolic ideas.
- Speak in simple language: Ask the child what he/she thinks, 知道和感觉, 并对这些问题做出具体的回应. 不要给出过多的细节, and make sure you check how the child is putting the information all together.
- 要诚实. 避免一半的真理. Never tell a child something he/she will later have to unlearn. 不要回避死亡这个词, 因为有时候选择(睡觉, 消失, 在一个更好的地方, 等.给孩子的心灵造成更大的困难.
- Be open about the situation: When my wife died, my boys were 9 and 7 years of age. As much as I might have wanted to, there was no avoiding the questions that arose. “妈妈为什么会死??“她现在在哪儿??”“如果你也死了，皇冠体育App该怎么办?” I tried to answer the questions they asked simply and honestly, 不要给出过于复杂的回答. They discerned that I was making them a part of it all, and was being open about everything and accepted that.
- Initiate the conversation: Children may not ask questions because they are not sure if they will upset we adults. They may not know what to ask, or be able to put their uncertainties into words. They know that something unusual is happening, and are scared by it. 而不是问问题, 他们可能会转而抱怨或做出其他消极的行为, 这会增加你的情绪压力吗. 在回应, 而不是帮助他们解决问题, adults may get upset or angry and this adds to the reluctance to talk. Try to be sensitive to opportunities to ask children how they feel. 皇冠体育App可能会问，“你可能一直在想……. ”, and pose the question that the children may be asking.
- Sometimes our concern for the children can mask a deep need to resolve our own adult grief issues. Sometimes it is easier and more socially acceptable to say, “我很担心孩子们,“其实不然, “我自己处理这件事很困难.” So be careful not to transfer your own fears and anxieties on to the children.
- 通常，一个孩子可以从一个支持项目中受益. 和你的医生谈谈, spiritual leader or other community resource people to see what programs are available for your children.
- 最重要的是, let the child know that these feelings of grief are natural and a necessary part of the grieving process and that their grief will pass. Assure them they are not alone, and that others, including you yourself, feel sad as well. 保证孩子, 然而, 这些感觉会随着时间流逝, 然后生活就会恢复正常.
- When describing the death of a loved one, use simple direct language.
- 要诚实. Never teach a child something they will later have to unlearn.
- 不要指望孩子会立即做出反应. 要有耐心，随时待命.
- Understand your own adult feelings about death and grief, for until we have come to terms with it for ourselves, it will be difficult to convey a positive attitude to children.