玛丽安因两年前失去丈夫鲍勃而悲痛欲绝. 她甚至怀疑自己是否能挺过这次损失, 但是她坚持了下去, worked through her grief and was at the point where she was beginning to rediscover herself, 弥补她的损失，重建她的生活.
然后，在刚刚过去的这个夏天，另一个家庭成员生病了. In spite of heroic treatment with constant care and attention, they finally died. 不，不是孩子、父母、兄弟姐妹或亲戚.玛丽安丢了她的猫!
For those who have never had a companion animal, pet loss is often hard to understand. “毕竟,“许多人说, “只是一只猫……或者一只狗。, 兔子, 仓鼠, 虎皮鹦鹉或者任何一种可能性.“失去宠物常常被社会所忽视, 所以当动物死亡时, owners grieve alone 因为 they are afraid that they will be ridiculed, 或者被认为是疯狂或愚蠢的, 因为, 毕竟它“只是一只宠物”. 但对玛丽安来说，卵石是“家庭的一员”. This loss has been just as devastating to her as the death of her husband, 可能因为她是“他们的”猫这一事实而变得更加复杂, 卵石的死又切断了一条连接她和鲍勃的线. Perhaps the loss of an animal is made more difficult 因为 there is a lack of understanding of how significant this relationship can be, 没有得到周围人的同情.
事实上, 在卵石死后的一周内, 一个邻居带着给玛丽安的小猫出现在门口, 她礼貌地拒绝了, still too hurt from her loss to be able to invest in another relationship. 她苦笑着告诉我这件事. “Too bad they didn’t bring over some younger guy to replace BOB when he died”, 她反驳道, 皇冠体育App分享的笑声帮助皇冠体育App正确看待这件事.
In case you haven’t noticed, the Pet Industry is big business these days.
报告的买家, 一个基于英国的商业智能在线目的地, has now added a new market report titled “The Pet Industry” which predicts that last year, North Americans will spend over $43 BILLION (£25 BILLION) on pet supplies and services, and that pet owners in the UK are fast catching up with their North American friends when it comes to spending money on their pets. Pet food is the largest segment accounting for 42% of the total market. 但宠物的非食物用品如垃圾, toys and over-the-counter medicines are the fastest-growing segment of the market. Stores in the UK are increasingly responding to the growing trend of the “humanization” of pets by providing accessories and products beyond leads and water bowls. A buyer for a major national chain recently stated that the response to the store’s new pet boutique has been “absolutely phenomenal”. 动物医院, 宠物墓地也在成倍增长, and cremation urns and other funeral paraphernalia is becoming big business.
And so, not surprisingly, grief counsellors for pet loss are emerging. 任何关系的失去都会引起强烈的痛苦, 即使别人可能不理解, 宠物通常是你生活中重要而持久的一部分. 卵石给了玛丽安安慰和陪伴, 无条件的爱和接受, 甚至是鲍勃死后的乐趣和欢乐. Little wonder she was devastated by the loss of that relationship.
While there are many common factors in grief over any relationship, there are issues that are unique to the situation that often trouble the grieving pet lover.
一个主要的问题是内疚, especially in those frequent situations where the pet owner had to decide to euthanize the animal or where the cat was killed by a speeding car or a veterinarian treatment was unsuccessful. 在玛丽安的情况下, she spent an extraordinary amount on treatments hoping to give the cat a few extra years of life, 让她有更多时间和她的宠物在一起.
但8个月后，她看到了不祥之兆. 兽医可能是最能判断身体状况的人, but Marian was the best judge of her beloved pet’s quality of daily life. 看到持续的痛苦, as well as having to undergo difficult and stressful treatments that didn’t seem to be helping, 以及卵石一般对生活缺乏兴趣, 玛丽安选择结束她心爱的伴侣的痛苦, 兽医也同意了.
玛丽安勇敢地坚持和卵石一起走到最后, 需要看到猫平静地离去，没有痛苦. 她事先和她待了一段时间, and continued to stroke and comfort her while the procedure was administered, 猫死后，它还在那里呆了一段时间. Many veterinary offices have developed a very sensitive and caring process for the procedure which is sometimes done in an office, 在人的家里, 甚至有时在一个人的车里.
然后是关于如何处理遗体的决定. 就像人类死亡一样，有很多选择. Some alternatives are to leave the pet at the vet’s for disposal; to bury the animal at home (although city regulations often prohibit this, and it can be difficult if the person moves after a while); pet cemeteries provide dignity, security and permanence at a cost; cremation is less expensive and provides many options to handle the ashes, 这也是有代价的, 包括骨灰盒, 珠宝, 等. If you didn’t know it, folks, the pet funeral industry is alive and well.
玛丽安为卵石做了所有的决定, 她像个骑警一样处理了这件事. But then she came home to an empty house, and it hit her like a ton of bricks. 她感到心情万千:
她觉得 悲伤 that this constant companion who had provided a connection to her beloved Bob was gone. 她表示 愤怒 that the treatments the vet had promised would give Pebbles a year or two of life (and that had cost her a small fortune) had not worked and had caused 6 months of suffering. She tormented herself with guilt over the fact that even though she knows it was “the right thing to do”, 她已经做出了决定, 她杀了她的猫. 她是不是太草率了? 她还能做得更多吗? 最重要的是 孤独 of missing the comfort and companionship she had clung so desperately to after Bob died.
让我坦白. 我从来没有“明白”失去宠物的意义, minimizing its importance in my own mind 因为 I have never owned a pet, my fear of animals going back to being bitten by a neighbour’s rampaging German Shepherd dog when I was 10 years of age. 但我现在明白了，多亏了玛丽安的故事. So many people get so much love and delight from their beloved pets in life, 就像任何重要的关系一样, 当他们去世时，他们为他们深感悲痛. 但不仅仅如此. People often make pets living symbols of their inner feelings: for some, symbols of their own innocence and purest feelings and the need to care; for others symbols of aggression and dominance as I personally found out at age 10. Whether positive or negative, when that pet dies a treasured secret part of the person also dies.
I did a bit of research in the “pet loss web sites” and found that much of the advice to help people through their grief is exactly the same as what is offered when a human companion dies. 不管, 悲伤可能是最令人困惑的, 一个人可能经历的令人沮丧和情绪化的事情. 对于失去亲人的宠物主人来说更是如此, when society in general does not give them “permission” to grieve openly. 因此，他们经常感到孤立和孤独. 它被称为被剥夺的悲伤. 幸运的是, more and more resources are becoming available to help the bereaved pet owner realize that they are NOT alone and that what they are feeling is entirely normal.
正如海伦·凯勒曾经精辟地说过: “皇冠体育App曾经享受过的东西，皇冠体育App永远不会失去. 皇冠体育App深爱的一切都会成为皇冠体育App的一部分.”